Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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