I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
