I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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