this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
