so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
