just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize