She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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