real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
