I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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