You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
