So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize