3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
