Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
