we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Randomize
