We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
