vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
