I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
