We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
