Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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