im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
