Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
