If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
