Someone shit on the floor
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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