But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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