I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
