You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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