I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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