I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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