so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
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as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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