Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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