I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
