Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
