Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
