I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
