Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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