So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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