You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
