Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
