dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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