wakey wakey hands off snakey
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize