He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
