Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
