we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
