I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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