she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You may now shotgun with the bride
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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