She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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