Define "chronic" masturbator.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We had sex on a dog bed..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
