I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wanna go halves on a baby?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
