Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
its liver damage thursday
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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