did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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