the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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