Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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