You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
