Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
