Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
