Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
