I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
