Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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