I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
