So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
