Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
the raccoons are back...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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