Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
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he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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