he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize