I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my shit smells like andre
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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